Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat's faithful amanuensis and general factotum Barnstead

From Callahan's Wiki

Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat's faithful amanuensis and general factotum Barnstead was not always known as Pernicious the Musquodoboit Harbour Farm Cat's faithful amanuensis and general factotum Barnstead, although this is not likely to be recollected very often by even the most eidetically-memoried of the Patronage-at-Large(tm). No indeed, Professor Barnstead first put in an appearance at Callahan's on 27 February 1996, with the following less-than-memorable post:

"The door opens to a gust of rain and a tall figure in a well-drenched grey woolen overcoat blows in, paisley scarf flapping forward, left hand mashing a grey felt hat against a head two sizes larger than the Grinch ended up with. He wipes his feet vigorously, and, nodding courteously to the dog playing chess in the corner, carefully threads his way to the bar, by some minor miracle or other avoiding dripping on any patrons, and sits at the far left.

"What will you have, son?" Mike asks genially.

"You wouldn't by any chance have any fayalin about the Place?" the newcomer asks.

"Well, now, let me see... it's not something we've had much call for - lately, at any rate - but I seem to recollect a shipment direct from Crevenia itself twenty years ago or so. There may be a bottle or two left, and if there is it would just be hitting its stride about now."

Mike ducks behind the counter. Clinking, some rustling, a crash followed by a muffled imprecation, a triumphant sigh. Mike rises, smiling, and places a small squat round bottle on the bar, where its topaz and ruby contents catch the light. He pours a shot into two glasses, clinks them together, hands one to the newcomer and says "Clear ether, son."

"Bottled by 'grams, I see."

"Seagram's?"

"No, Anagram's."

"Fond of them, are you?"

"Well, as fond of them as anyone can be whose name produces only `a stern hand job'."

"And what do you think of the AUTHOR of this FICTON?"

"Well, thanks to a misprint on the title page of one of the paper- back editions of `Time Travellers Strictly Cash', he `is no insipid borer'... The newcomer doffs hat and scarf. Although his overcoat has been dripping continuously, the floor beneath him has remained dry. He turns to the room, raises the glass of tawny red liquid, and says: "Thank you all for providing port (of a sort) in a storm." Then he puts his dollar on the table, and the glass in his pocket for a souvenir." Since then Professor Barnstead has most often been seen in the company of a rather bossy and opinionated black cat with white paws and jabot, who not infrequently punishes his impudences of various varieties with a well-placed claw to the earlobe...